two words:

rebecca black.

"kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the backseat, gotta make my mind up, which seat can i take." we've all been there you guys, sometimes it's hard to make those decisions.

one time i watched this and then killed myself. and then another time i stumbled upon something that blew my mind. AN ESSAY WRITTEN BY VOLDEMORT ABOUT REBECCA BLACK. this is real. it's like the world knew how i was feeling and was like "ok morgan, here you go. this is a sweet blessing that i am placing directly into your lap. go. go and share it." and i was like "ok." because here's the thing. this whole rebecca black ordeal is solid gold (in a bad way) and harry potter is solid gold (in a great way) so combine the two, and you've got fireworks. cue katy perry's anthem.....now.

so here it is everyone, a wonderfully awful essay written by he-who-shall-not-be-named.

warning: if you're not an hp fan this will probably not be funny to you. (also, you should die)

"By now you’ve all heard of Rebecca Black. If you’ve been living in the Forbidden Forest with the Weasley’s car for the last week then she’s the girl who did this disaster. Safe to say, Sirius is no longer the most embarrassing person with the last name Black. (Killed by a curtain? ‘Sirius’ly what is that?) Bad puns aside, the thing is while we can obviously fault this girl for not being able to sing and having parents willing to shell out money for a video, the real fault lies in us. Yes, I am including myself with you all because there is nothing that I enjoy more than a train-wreck. While we could all put silencing charms on ourselves & refuse to listen to this mess, we don’t. It’s so hard to look away. The real question becomes how is this girl any different from the majority of artists out there? She’s not. She’s just a chick with bad lyrics and autotune. In reality I expect Disney to sign her any day now. The fact of the matter is we are way more likely to pay attention to something terrible than something good. Does this make Rebecca an advertisement for the Death Eaters? No. We have standards. The funny thing is the train-wreck always gets a ton of attention while the other wrecks get largely ignored. Rebecca Black is trending on twitter. Japan isn’t. Food for thought. If, of course, you foolishly eat anything besides Death. Perhaps I’m just bitter because now, in addition to everything else that was already on my list, I have to hate Fridays."

i mean c'mon. that stuff is funny.