December 16, 2011

cutie stuff.

i'm really hoping all of you read hilary's married blog or whatever. because she posted about how she's pregs! this news is long overdue. i suck at blogging about real life you guys. I'M SORRY OK. but it's fine because i'm going to be the greatest aunt in the entire world. there's less than a month before baby girl bowman arrives so i feel like i need to prepare some pearls of wisdom for my future BFF.

gettin' preggy wit it. 

to my niece:

1. never perm your hair. ever. 
  2. my jokes will always be funny. 
3. play an instrument. but not one that's in marching band, band girls are notorious for being loose. 
4. don't be loose. 
5. play a sport. but not softball, softball girls are notorious for being lesbians.
6. don't be a lesbian.
7. listen to good music.
8. hold eye contact when talking to people. 
9. hang out with the funny kids. you may get confused and think the cool kids are the funny kids, but believe me, there is a difference. 
10. if a waiter asks if you want a to-go cup, ALWAYS say yes.
11. have a lot of friends, from all walks of life. 
12. get a job when you're sixteen and keep it for a long time. it looks good on future resumes. plus it's a great way to make all of your unemployed peers feel like lazy idiots. 
13. diet coke > diet pepsi. 
14. read.
15. don't compare yourself to other girls. if you do, we'll get your yearbook out and i will say something mean about every single girl in your school. 
16. write thank you cards. they go a long way.
17. find something to be passionate about. 
18. embrace your awkward stage. it's the only time in your life you have a free pass to look terrible. 
19. be open.
20. go to your mom for boy advice. i got nothing. 
21. don't slouch.
22. if something terrible happens to someone, instead of asking what happened, ask how you can help. 
23. no matter what anyone tries to tell you, hogwarts is real.
24. go on lots of awkward first dates. the stories to follow are always worth it.
25. don't be an attention whore. 
26. you only need to shave if people are going to see your legs.  
27. rolling your eyes can be funny when used correctly.
28. don't interrupt people.
29. be nice to everyone.
30. don't over tweeze your eyebrows.

this list could go on for days so i'm choosing to stop here. i love you baby girl! can't wait to meet you in january. 
auntie morgan. 


Cirina said...

Hilarious, sweet, informative, loving and all very true. You are going to be a fantastic aunt, (I consider you more of an aunt to my kids than a second cousin once removed or whatever the official title is) and Hilly is going to be a wonderful mom. And hell ya, Hogwarts is TOTALLY real,someday when I grow up I am totally going there.
P.S. I am still working on Matt to move to AZ.
P.P.S. He is actually considering us joining you guys in Hawaii.

Larissa said...

OMG! Why didn't I know Hill was prego? No one tells me anything anymore.

Sarah said...

you will never be a better aunt then me