hilary and morgan

cutie stuff part 2

2012-01-14T11:45:00.000-08:00

norah bowman

7 pounds 3 ounces

january 11, 2012

needless to say, we're all a little obsessed. hil was a champion and has already set a new standard for mothers everywhere. norah, you are loved by so many people it's kind of ridiculous. welcome to the world baby girl! we love you so much!

Norah from morgan wood on Vimeo.

cutie stuff.

2011-12-16T00:04:00.000-08:00

i'm really hoping all of you read hilary's married blog or whatever. because she posted about how she's pregs! this news is long overdue. i suck at blogging about real life you guys. I'M SORRY OK. but it's fine because i'm going to be the greatest aunt in the entire world. there's less than a month before baby girl bowman arrives so i feel like i need to prepare some pearls of wisdom for my future BFF.

gettin' preggy wit it.

to my niece:

A BUNCH OF CRAP YOU SHOULD KNOW BECAUSE IT WILL HELP MAKE YOUR LIFE A LITTLE EASIER.

1. never perm your hair. ever.

2. my jokes will always be funny.

3. play an instrument. but not one that's in marching band, band girls are notorious for being loose.

4. don't be loose.

5. play a sport. but not softball, softball girls are notorious for being lesbians.

6. don't be a lesbian.

7. listen to good music.

8. hold eye contact when talking to people.

9. hang out with the funny kids. you may get confused and think the cool kids are the funny kids, but believe me, there is a difference.

10. if a waiter asks if you want a to-go cup, ALWAYS say yes.

11. have a lot of friends, from all walks of life.

12. get a job when you're sixteen and keep it for a long time. it looks good on future resumes. plus it's a great way to make all of your unemployed peers feel like lazy idiots.

13. diet coke > diet pepsi.

14. read.

15. don't compare yourself to other girls. if you do, we'll get your yearbook out and i will say something mean about every single girl in your school.

16. write thank you cards. they go a long way.

17. find something to be passionate about.

18. embrace your awkward stage. it's the only time in your life you have a free pass to look terrible.

19. be open.

20. go to your mom for boy advice. i got nothing.

21. don't slouch.

22. if something terrible happens to someone, instead of asking what happened, ask how you can help.

23. no matter what anyone tries to tell you, hogwarts is real.

24. go on lots of awkward first dates. the stories to follow are always worth it.

25. don't be an attention whore.

26. you only need to shave if people are going to see your legs.

27. rolling your eyes can be funny when used correctly.

28. don't interrupt people.

29. be nice to everyone.

30. don't over tweeze your eyebrows.

this list could go on for days so i'm choosing to stop here. i love you baby girl! can't wait to meet you in january.

love,

auntie morgan.

ENOUGH WITH THIS QUOTE

2011-11-30T23:44:00.000-08:00

this is just a really condescending way of telling me to take my xanax and shut up.

if you're easily offended, then please don't read this.

2011-11-16T22:40:00.000-08:00

nobody asked me to update this thing but i'm doing it anyway. i want to tell a story that is rated PG-13. if the words "KY warming liquid" offend any of you, then stop effing reading. when i was twelve years old i graduated primary and entered the young women's program. this is a huge milestone for any young LDS girl because being in young women's means you get to feel insecure all the time and go to girls camp every summer. my first summer in young women's was nearing which meant it was almost time for GIRLS CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!! aka the worst three days of any normal human being's life. every week our leaders would remind us that we needed to raise money for camp and they would always have different suggestions for us. i don't remember how exactly, but my best friend sarah trott and i were somehow forced into going over to some old lady's house for slave labor. "she'll pay you girls and maybe treat you to breakfast!!!" (five bucks, a stale granola bar, and warm tap water.) sarah's mom dropped us off at this elderly woman's house bright and early on a saturday morning and i still remember walking into that dark, musty house and hearing the car drive away. we were stranded. the lady greeted us with a long list of chores and quickly put us to work. the tasks started out simple: dusting, vacuuming, unloading the dishwasher, etc. sarah and i quietly worked side by side, quickly checking off the tasks hoping we could get out of there before the lizzie mcguire marathon ended. when we had completed everything, we proudly presented the check list to the woman and started inching our way towards the door. and then it happened. three words were uttered that would forever change our lives "one more thing..." she led us back to her and her husband's bedroom and handed each of us a rag and bottle of carpet cleaner. "there are some spots on the floor that i need you to take care of, right there by the bed. my husband has tried getting them out but as you can tell, hasn't been very successful. so i thought you girls could give it a try." she walked out of the room and we both stood there, completely livid that we had to do one more freaking chore. we started scrubbing away at those everloving stains that just wouldn't lift. where was oxy-clean when you needed it??!?! after an annoyingly long period of time, we decided to take a break and when we stood up, we found ourselves directly in front of her dresser. and there it was. staring us in the face was a giant bottle of KY warming liquid. with the innocence that any good little twelve year old girl should have, we quizzically looked at each other. "what is that?" "i don't know. it sounds weird though." "just read the label, maybe it says what it does." this is the part where our eyes became the size of dinner plates. "i want to go home." "me too." we booked it out of her bedroom as fast as our little legs could carry us and ran into the old lady. "are you girls all done?" "uuuhm yeah um yeah um sarah you gonna call your mom now? ummm here's your washrags. we can just wait outside till her mom comes." we kept our eyes on the ground and walked outside, where we sat down on the curb, and stared at the gravel. silence crept over us and carried into the car ride home. "did you girls have a good time?" and that's the end of my story.

you guys i feel awkward for all of you right now. but i just needed you all to know this story so you can have sympathy for my sad life. sarah's too. we were traumatized at a young age and we've been carrying this around for years. but i think we turned out all right.

post script: last sunday i ran into this elderly lady. our conversation was basically just me saying ummm a lot and staring at the floor. i don't think i've made eye contact with her since that dreadful, dreadful day.

this post has a lot of words. if you're here for pretty pictures might i suggest pinterest?

2011-10-02T23:52:00.000-07:00

this is a new segment i like to call: book reports.

there's this girl named bella and she has aspergers so she moves to a new city. she smells really good to this one guy who turns out to be a vampire. then he goes all lifetime movie on her and says he loves her and he's never letting her go and the whole time i was all "ummmm that's a red flag honey. this kid is possessive. plus he wants to drink your blood." they keep hanging out and doing science projects together in class because they really want to win this old onion that has been spray painted gold. i don't really remember how but bella figures out that this kid is a vampire and she's fine with it because she's a total attention whore/masochist. then one night they kiss and the vampire is all "we can't do this. i could hurt you." and then bella is all stuttering and her inner monologue is saying really weird words like "desire, burning, heat, lips...." and then everyone gets uncomfortable. the vampire kid invites her to meet his family and they go play baseball and that's when the S hits the fan. some other vamps show up and are all "hey she smells really good." and the vampire kid and his family start growling or something and they're all "no. go away." and then the bad vamps are like "we'll be back." and then they do some stuff to trick bella and she falls for it (aspergers) and somehow she ends up in phoenix at a dance studio and one of the bad vampires is there and says that he's gonna kill her and bella is like "NO!" and then her vampire boyfriend shows up with his bros and they kill the bad one. and then they go to prom and she's like "i don't dance. plus this dress looks stupid." and then they kiss at the dance and then her indian friend shows up straight from the rez and is like "your bf is lame. you should date me."

bella and her crazy adventures are baaaaaack!!!! this time she has a birthday and gets super ticked about it because she doesn't want to be an old lady macking on an immortal vamp who never ages. her bf throws her a party and she opens a present and slices her finger. oh bells. will you silly klutz, will you never learn?! blood starts to ooze and the whole vampire fam goes insane. except for her bf's fake dad who's a doctor. the vampire kid gets all sad and realizes he's putting her in danger so he takes her for a walk in the forest. totally normal. then he's all "bella i have to leave this place." and bella is all "i'll come with you!" this is the part where you start to feel really awkward because this girl just doesn't get it. is it the aspergers? most likely. then her bf is all "no. i don't want you to come. bye." and he walks away really fast. then bella gets super bummed and slips into a depression. one night she goes to a movie with one of her girl friends and decides to ride on a motorcycle with some dude standing outside a bar. she gets on and goes all girl interrupted and starts hearing the vampire kid's voice and he's like "stop doing dangerous stuff." bella decides to buy a motorcycle and calls her friend on the rez to fix it up. she goes to visit him and he has totally gone through puberty since she saw him last and she's all "hubba hubba!" so they start to hang out and she gets happy again and any sane person reading the book is obviously rooting for this kid. they go to a movie and he gets sick and she goes to visit him a couple of days later and he's gotten even more buff. he acts weird and she's worried her aspergers is contagious. it takes her a while but she finally realizes that the buff kid is a werewolf and she's like "why can't my life be normal?" and then she pulls her hair like the cathy cartoon and is all "aack!" her buff friend starts acting like her vampire boyfriend and says "it's too dangerous for you to be around me." and bella quotes that one part of the lion king where simba says he laughs in the face of danger. so they keep hanging out and they start to flirt h-core and i started getting happy for her because she wasn't that depressed anymore. but then her stupid vampire boyfriend gets all suicidal and decides to have these italian vampires kill him and bella wigs out and totally blows off her buff guy and goes to italy and finds her bf and they kiss and then come back home. the buff guy is totally ticked off and then bella's bf proposes.

bella and her boyfriend are still loving on each other and her buff indian friend is still loving from afar. some bad vampire with red hair decides she wants to kill bella and the werewolves and vamps form an alliance. kind of like survivor only without the immunity challenges and tribal councils. the practice fighting and the vamps know some sweet kung fu moves and the wolves howl and show their teeth. bella is all awkward and mopey and the night before the big battle royale the vamp gives her an engagement ring. she tries to seduce him and do the deed and the vampire kid is all "no. not till we're married." he scored a point for that. whoever said chivalry is dead?! the next day they go to the mountain to kill each other and both parties start snapping and dance fighting like the jets and sharks. not really but that would have been awesome. bella tells her buff indian friend to take her to the top of the mountain and for some strange reason they end up sleeping together in a tent? something about werewolf body heat and hypothermia. the next morning the vamp kid goes off to fight some more and then the buff guy is about to leave and bella turns into a hoe and is all "wait! kiss me." WTF. he slips her some trademark wolf tongue and runs off to fight. the red head vamp finds bella and then her bf shows up and rescues her. AGAIN. these books are kind of redundant. meanwhile the buff indian kid gets injured in his werewolf state. vamp bf's pretend doctor father sets his bones and bella goes to visit him. i don't remember what they talk about but i want to say they don't end up kissing....if i remember correctly. vamp bf and bells talk about marriage some more and then makeout or something.

this is the worst book in the series. bella and her bf get married and the first half of the book talks about all of their bed breaking sexcapades. old moms love this crap. bella gets pregnant on their honeymoon and her vamp husband starts freaking out and is all "we have to get this baby out of you!" i don't know if he's just really overprotective or just really liberal. tomato tomawto. they go back home and the baby has grown a ton because it's a mutant. bella tells her dad and other people she's pregs and then she gets really sick because the baby is eating her insides or something. her buff indian friend comes to see her and is livid. probably because he never got a chance to tap that. bella has her half vampire half asperger baby and then is like "hey husband. turn me into a vampire now." and he's like "ok" so he bites her and she morphs like a champ. then they have more sexcapades only this time as vampires. whatever. her baby grows old really fast and i think when she birthed it, it came out with a full set of teeth. but don't quote me on that. her indian friend sees the baby and is all "woah! i think i want to marry your kid. i'll tell my body to stop aging until she's legal and everything is consensual and then we'll live happily ever after." and then bella is like "gross! you're a predator, get away from my mutant baby." and then the buff guy is all "oh bella. it's just a werewolf thing. it's perfectly fine." and then bella says "k whatevs. i'm gonna go do sexy vampire things." then i don't remember what happens because i was scarred for life but i'm pretty sure everything ends up being mediocre/fine.

good grief i'm so over blogging.

2011-09-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

everyone look at these pictures i found on my computer.

this is a bird perched in a tree.

this is me saying something.

this is my mom and dog being all whatever.

this is hilary hiding her braces with a closed mouth smile.

this is us drinking orange juice.

this is me with a taxi cab coming out of my neck.

this is hilary being scared of pigeons.

read this stuff because it will make you more smarter.

2011-07-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

i know a lot of stuff about television because i'm really cultured and do smart people things like watch a lot of televsion. this is the stuff i've learned from all this productivity.

AMERICA'S GOT TALENT

i would just like to start off by saying how much this show makes me want to kill everything in plain sight. it's so loud and i'm not talking about nick cannon's suits. ZING!!!!!!!! lolzzz. but seriously guys. it hurts my ears. plus the producers make the audience look like a bunch of effing idiots. they're either clapping or crying or doing both. ALL THE TIME. i feel like i'm tripping on acid when i watch this. so i usually don't but sometimes i do and that's when i get angry. basically what i'm trying to say is that this show gives me anxiety.

look at these morons.

look at these other morons.

look at this moron.

THE BACHELORETTE

ashley:

she loves fake eye lashes and boys named bentley. also her stylist should be shot.

ames:

if he had a british accent it would all make sense.

jp:

the only downside to this guy is that he has bad taste in women.

lucas:

he's a real man because he's awkward in front of the camera and wears running shoes with everything. also he loves red meat. (i do not know this fact to be true. i might have made it up. but he totally seems like the type)

mary-kate and ashley:

fraternal. not identical.

bentley:

this is a perfect example of why utah sucks so hard.

jeff:

autism.

KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS

this show would be a lot better if this wet blanket wasn't in it.

this post was stupid. but i'm not apologizing for it. and now if you'll excuse me i have to go clean out my tivo.

~featured~

2011-05-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

lots of times i find myself procrastinating my life away by perusing blogs and the blogger girls are always talking about how they're featured on some other blog. and i don't really know what the eff that means. i think it's like an interview or something? like they're playing celebrity? "marie claire sits down with _____ over a fresh bowl of mixed greens, poached salmon, and a white wine spritzer to talk crash diets, fashion, and what else....boys!" sometimes i'm like "why am i not invited to pretend to be famous and talk about these things?" and then i remember who i am and am all "oh. right." and then i go eat a doughnut or something.

but today i am taking a stand. i, morgan wood, am conducting my own "featured interview" on my own blog. i understand that this is groundbreaking and extremely prestigious. and maybe one day, i will randomly choose someone out of my three followers (one of which is my mom) and feature them on my blog where they will have the opportunity to dish. are you ready ladies????????

........................................................................................................................................................

fresh off her latest blogger win, i sit down with the blog world's newest it girl, morgan wood. she arrives fashionably late (a short six hours) with her team in tow. wearing a RDHGBDKOIF dress and froiclaffjaikljd shoes, from his latest collection i might add, (LUST!) she is the epitome of that one french word.

interview person: morgan, first off i just want to start by saying how pretty you are.

morgan: thanks.

interview person: so tell me, what inspired you to start this blog?

morgan: how much people suck. that's what inspired me.

pause. sometimes in fancy interviews they do something cool and start using initials. guess who has two thumbs and thinks she's cool enough to do that?

i.p: tell me, how do you put your outfits together? is there a trick to dressing like you?

m: i just go to my closet and pick stuff out. sometimes i match.

i.p: you recently had a real iconic moment when you wore this number.

m: yeah, people were really inspired by this look. funny enough, i didn't even have a stylist help me.

i.p: really? wow! i'm so impressed!

m: yeah, everything in my life just comes really easy for me.

i.p: you're known for your fashion posts,----m rudely interrupts: no i'm not.

i.p: ......you take pictures of your outfits and tell everyone where you got each piece. can you tell me about that?

m: i don't do that. but if you want me to, i will.

i.p: aboslutely! the readers would love that.

m: alright, well....i like to call this first look 'where's waldo'. i got the shirt at some store and the jeans at another store.

i.p: this is just a crappy drawing you did on your computer.

m: no it's not.

m: my second look is a little more dressy. you can wear it on like a date or somewhere that requires not sweatpants. also, you should probably shave your legs with an outfit like this. sometimes, i all the time forget to do that.

i.p: clearly this is a false representation of yourself. you even took the time to draw boobs?!?

m: THIS IS MY INTERVIEW, I'LL DO WHATEVER THE EFF I WANT.

i.p: .....................

m: *holding eye contact like a champ*

i.p: ok, well let's move on then.

m: yes. let's.

i.p: are there any diet tips you might want to share?

m: no. i still don't even know what that word means.

i.p: what about beauty secrets? any little tidbits that might help your readers?

m: ummmmm....sure. always carry an extra set of tweezers in your purse. you never know when that stray chin hair will pop up. uhhhh don't bite your nails. bloody stubs aren't that attractive. oh! and drink lots of soda, i hear it's really good for your skin.

i.p: actually, i think you have it backwards. soda is actually really bad for your skin.

m: no further questions.

why BoYzZ were obsessed with me and other brags about my life.

2011-05-04T13:54:00.001-07:00

when i was in high school i went through what the medical field calls "puberty." this is just a fancy word for having to wear a bra and yelling at your parents all the time. i had always been fairly tall as a kid, but when those hormones kicked in, i shot up like a junkie on heroine. (that means i got even taller). i was nothing but long limbs. and i had no idea what to do with them. you know when there's a baby horse learning how to walk? and you know those blow up balloon people outside of car dealerships?

they look like this for all the idiots out there that don't know what i'm talking about.

combine the two and you have me.

not only was i a stumbling, fumbling, bumbling mess of arms and legs, but i was also forced into wearing braces and a big girl bra that i couldn't fill out even when there was an entire package of kleenex stuffed in there.

webster's dictionary defines "sexy" as: morgan at age 14.

to top it off, i had (and still have) a mouth. and i knew how to use it. unfortunately for me, what i found funny and what other kids my age found funny were completely different. not to mention, i was a girl. therefore any quick-witted remark i made (which was quite often) was either ignored out sheer ignorance or ignored because the cute boy next to me was in the middle of telling some lame story about doing a 180 at the skate park.

i felt soooooo missundaztood!!!!

when i was 16, everyone started going on dates. everyone that is, except me. at this point i had perfected the art of sarcasm. and it would take me years to learn that this is not an attractive quality in girls. who would've thunk? boys didn't like it when i one upped them in front of their broskies and i didn't like it when they STOLE MY JOKES AND GOT BIGGER LAUGHS THAN ME. (you know who you are.) so that's when i went all "new-age feminist hippie, grow one single dread lock and hide it under your curls until your mom sees it and attacks you with a pair of scissors, read lots of gloria steinam, and yell mean things at boys out the window of your chevy tracker." like "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY." and "IF YOU DON'T ANSWER MY FRIEND TO THE DANCE I'LL ATTACK YOU IN YOUR SLEEP AND SHAVE OFF YOUR EYEBROW. THAT'S RIGHT, JUST ONE." things like that. also, i think i might have made a couple of intimidating threats. something about castration? but i don't really remember. it's whatevs.

luckily, i had no desire to date. and i'm 100% serious. if you are a boy that i went to high school with, chances are, i loathed you. sorry gentleman. it wasn't you. it was me....(it was you though. because i'm always right.) sure there was the occasional crush, but only because they helped me cheat on spanish tests or helped me change that flat tire i got for driving out of the seminary parking lot too fast because i was ditching. i never said i was perfect, ok? but those crushes only lasted as long as it took to cheat/change the tire. and then i was over it. i did however have puppy love for a boy that went to a different school. we swam together on our club team (did i mention i was an h-core swimmer? which meant i had man shoulders. which meant i thought i could beat the boys up.) this puppy love lasted for two years. we only talked at practice, in between the lane lines, for like 5 minutes a day. so....basically we were pretty serious. he started texting me one day and i just knew that he was in love with me too. turns out, one of my other teammates had let it slip that i was planning our wedding so he sent me a few pity texts. ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after high school, i was still proudly wearing my feminist badge. one day i received a letter in the mail from a dear friend of mine who was serving a misson. he made the mistake of sending me the returned missionary dating application. and i made the mistake of reading it. if someone made a movie based off of this part of my life, it would probably be titled "morgan: a hilarious and ostentatious little B word" more or less. in lieu of filling this out, i wrote a ridiculously long, and overly dramatic essay that i thought was hilarious and not intimidating in the least. i don't remember everything it said, but i do remember the thesis statement was "i may have child bearing hips, but the width of my hips does not correalate to my cooking skills or knowledge of starching a collar." i was a barrel of laughs you guys!!! who wouldn't want to hang out with me!

am i right?

guys?

hey guys?

you still there?

anyway. basically all i'm trying to say/brag about is how many boys love me and how many of them secretly wanted to smooch me in high school. and now i think all you boys should all come clean. it's ok if you kissed my yearbook picture every night. or memorized my class schedule.

and don't ever forget that one time i was voted "highland's biggest flirt"*

until next time.

-morgan.

*not true.

guyphone.

2011-04-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

i like to call this chapter of my life "that one time morgan got an iphone." this phone is my one true love and is now documenting moments in my life better than any reality show crew ever could. (probably not true) if you're phone friends with me, chances are you're getting an overwhelming amount of pictures sent your way. hey phonebook. YOU'RE WELCOME.

one time i had to take care of chad and hil's cat while they were out of town.

one time sarah and i realized we make the exact same faces as our sisters.

one time rebecca black happened.

one time melanie looked like a kardashian.

one time i wore really cute clothes.

one time i sat next to my art history teacher in relief society.

one time this drunk guy spilled his beer all over the light rail. and then he threw up. and then he took a nap.

one time i took pictures of my bruises to mark their progress. *

*nobody even cared about this. they were like "ummmm this is boring and irrelevant." and i was all "OH I'M SORRY MY PAIN MEANS NOTHING TO YOU."

one time i todd was being a gem

p.s. some of my besties also upgraded their phones and now we're being trendy together. sometimes we like to take videos of ourselves and send them to each other because that's what friends do.

Lamp shape like a "poo poo"

2011-04-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

We found this restaurant and now want to travel to Taiwan just eat a chocolate "poo poo" ice cream.

*yes this post may seem immature

*We also know that you love potty humor as much as we do!!

Enjoy

two words:

2011-03-22T11:57:00.000-07:00

rebecca black.

"kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the backseat, gotta make my mind up, which seat can i take." we've all been there you guys, sometimes it's hard to make those decisions.

one time i watched this and then killed myself. and then another time i stumbled upon something that blew my mind. AN ESSAY WRITTEN BY VOLDEMORT ABOUT REBECCA BLACK. this is real. it's like the world knew how i was feeling and was like "ok morgan, here you go. this is a sweet blessing that i am placing directly into your lap. go. go and share it." and i was like "ok." because here's the thing. this whole rebecca black ordeal is solid gold (in a bad way) and harry potter is solid gold (in a great way) so combine the two, and you've got fireworks. cue katy perry's anthem.....now.

so here it is everyone, a wonderfully awful essay written by he-who-shall-not-be-named.

warning: if you're not an hp fan this will probably not be funny to you. (also, you should die)

"By now you’ve all heard of Rebecca Black. If you’ve been living in the Forbidden Forest with the Weasley’s car for the last week then she’s the girl who did this disaster. Safe to say, Sirius is no longer the most embarrassing person with the last name Black. (Killed by a curtain? ‘Sirius’ly what is that?) Bad puns aside, the thing is while we can obviously fault this girl for not being able to sing and having parents willing to shell out money for a video, the real fault lies in us. Yes, I am including myself with you all because there is nothing that I enjoy more than a train-wreck. While we could all put silencing charms on ourselves & refuse to listen to this mess, we don’t. It’s so hard to look away. The real question becomes how is this girl any different from the majority of artists out there? She’s not. She’s just a chick with bad lyrics and autotune. In reality I expect Disney to sign her any day now. The fact of the matter is we are way more likely to pay attention to something terrible than something good. Does this make Rebecca an advertisement for the Death Eaters? No. We have standards. The funny thing is the train-wreck always gets a ton of attention while the other wrecks get largely ignored. Rebecca Black is trending on twitter. Japan isn’t. Food for thought. If, of course, you foolishly eat anything besides Death. Perhaps I’m just bitter because now, in addition to everything else that was already on my list, I have to hate Fridays."

i mean c'mon. that stuff is funny.

4 Eyes

2011-03-02T13:23:00.000-08:00

There is a common trend now that glasses are cool even if you don't need to wear them

For example:
Let me just remind you of some other famous faces that wear spectacles not for show but for actuality!!

(Red with animal print)

( Working Goggles)

(Todd's Transformers. Posts are always better with Todd in them.)

( Too early to put in contact's glasses)

*************************************************************************************

To all the trendies that think they look sheek, this might change your mind:

( Insert your comment here)

XOXO, G.G.

long story short, i'm awkward.

2011-02-23T11:45:00.001-08:00

hey guys.

everyone has been harassing me to update this blog. (that last sentence was a lie) and i'm thinking "ok. ok....ok. i get it. i'll update." slight problem. i don't really have anything to talk about. i mean, i guess i could post pictures of my daily outfits because that's not a total waste of time plus it makes you look super humble. and people are always like "morgan, your outfits are always amazing! i wish i could dress like you! where did you get that top?" and i'm like "ross."

but i don't feel like doing that. instead, i think i'll continue not doing homework and tell you all a story. this is going to be long and awkward and you probably won't want to be my facebook friend after reading this but oh well. only a few people know this story so you should feel honored that i'm letting you into my life. i'm being like the bachelor brad and opening up by sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when i was in high school there was a boy by the name of (i can't say his real name. so let's just call him boy.) boy thought i was mentally retarded. and i say that with 100% seriousness. boy and i never hung out but our older sisters were good friends so we knew each other by association. he had his friends and i had my ipod. fun fact about boy: he walked on water. he was captain of everything, president of everything, king of everything, honors student, and bonafied all around nice guy. naturally every girl was in love with him.

except for me.

i just didn't see the appeal. sure he was the real life version of ken, but he had weak humor and wore running shoes with everything. whenever dance season came around the girls would get gussied up for school all in hopes of getting his attention and securing a date to the dance. it was during these weeks that i would sit in the corners of hawk hall wearing the same shirt i slept in the night before and watch the chaos unfold. once a date had been snagged the uproar was soon to follow. dirty looks were thrown around as well as the phrases "she's such a skank." "she doesn't deserve him." "what does he see in her anyway?" and my personal favorite "i'm way cuter and way funner than her!"

our senior year the girls came back with a vengeance. poor boy was being claimed and traded left and right and he had no idea. our winter formal dance (girls choice) was in december, so it seemed only normal for girls to start asking the boys in early october right? one night a dear friend of mine and i were hanging out, talking about the obsession that is boy. word on the street was he hadn't been asked yet (of course he hadn't. it was effing october) and that's when my friend had one of her most brilliant ideas. she would ask boy to winter formal and anger every other girl in our student body. it was at that moment i was proud to call her my friend. the best part was, boy didn't know my friend that well but we both knew he was too nice to say no.

my friend asked him to the dance the following evening. and i don't remember how. minor details aren't that important. (boy wore a red shirt to the dance.) the next week at school was amazing. we had put my friend on the map and every girl loathed her.

this is when the story starts evolving my dear readers. the night of winter formal our group met up at some restaurant. my date was a good guy friend who was bad for me because he was one of the few people that could bring out my weirdest and darkest side without even blinking an eye. we were late to dinner. shocker. and some of the douchebag couples decided to stagger the seating arrangement leaving an empty table with one chair pushed up against the larger one. of course i got stuck at the empty table. my date was to my right at the large table along with my friend and boy.

because i'm me, i started talking to the empty chair across the table. my date sat quietly next to me trying to hold in his laughter. i continued doing this for the next 10 minutes and looked up to see boy staring at me with a confused expression on his face. i smiled and slouched over in my seat. 5 minutes later my button fell off my sweater. i started searching through my hair for a bobby pin and when successfully found, started fumbling around with the button, trying to somehow pin it back on. like i was freaking macgyver. again, i looked up to see boy staring at me. and sometimes i like to play this game where i pretend i'm blind and i grab your face and act like i'm discovering your beauty for the first time with my hands. my date and i started playing this and of course i looked over and caught boy's eye.

i tried avoiding him the rest of the night and was successful until i tripped on air (happens a lot) and reached out to grab the nearest person. it was boy. i mumbled something about vertigo and he just stared.

a couple of weeks later my sister asked me to go pick something up for her from her friend's house. her friend who just so happened to be the older sister of boy. i brought a friend with me who, naturally, was in love with boy. everything was going well, we hadn't even seen boy. but because my life loves me, he walked into the foyer. my friend turned beet red and forgot how to speak. i gave him an awkward greeting and said something about us needing to go and turned to walk out the door. except it wouldn't open and there were jingle bells on the knob and i got distracted and started pawing at them and meowing like a cat. it got really quiet and i swear my friend was ready to kill me. she stepped in front and swatted at my hands until i stopped, wherein she shoved me out the door. i had a confused look on my face. "i just wanted to play with the bells!"

talk about a graceful exit.

second semester senior year.

morp time was right around the corner. one day my friend ran up to me in the parking lot and breathlessly announced that 2 girls had asked boy to morp within an hour of each other. without missing a beat i asked for his number and stored it in my phone. i texted him saying "dear boy. will you go to morp with me?" he replied and asked "who this was" to which i answered "names aren't important right now. just say yes so i can buy our outfits." i wasn't expecting a response. and i didn't get one.

later that night i was at work and when i was on my break i checked my phone to see i had 3 missed calls from a number i didn't recognize. i called the number back and a stranger answered. i asked him who he was and he said "oh names aren't important. but we all know who you are." at this moment a room full of boys started screaming my name. i yelled into the phone and hung up. and that's when i realized those boys had called my phone and got my voicemail that said you've reached morgan wood.

oops.

not only did boy think i was mentally challenged, but he now thought i was in love with him. and that's when i made the biggest mistake of my life. deciding to take advantage of the situation, i proceeded to send him creepy texts throughout the semester up until graduation. i do not know why i did this, but it happened.

graduation came and went, and we saw each other at random events. and each time we saw each other i was tripping on something, choking on something, spilling juice on something, or saying something completely inappropriate. our final encounter was one for the books. everyone had gone away to college and naturally i had stayed home to attend community college because i had big dreams for myself. one weekend i drove up to see my friends at their "prestigous" university. and of course i ran into boy. well, technically he ran into me.

you see, i was outside my friend's apartment doing who knows what with my hoodie pulled over my face. that's when i heard my friend yell "boy? what are you doing here?!" i chose to ignore that comment and continued flailing around until something large and muscular slammed into me. i ripped the hoodie off my head and looked into the eyes of boy. when he realized it was me his pupils shrank and he took 2 steps back. my friend saved the day by calling him over and having small talk. i pulled my hoodie tight over my face again and stood there waiting for him to leave. and that's when i heard him ask "hey, is she gonna be ok? she's always been a little off. am i right?"

and that's the story of how the most popular boy in school thought i was mentally challenged.

the end.

winter break 2k10.

2011-01-14T13:45:00.000-08:00

winter break is probably the greatest time of year (besides summer) because school doesn't exist and dear friends come home and you get to eat anything you want because calories don't count. my friends and i took a vote, and this year's break was probably the best so far. because we did stuff. and here's some of the stuff we did.

1. looked good all the time.

2. went to the temple groundbreaking. this is the only picture that was taken, because apparently nobody in our family gives an eff to actually document important moments.

3. ate lots of food with these two lovebirds.

4. went to ihop at least 6 times a day.

5. went to qt at least 134 times a day.

6. made it rain.

7. had weekly FHE. (which roughly translates to "let's get together and say some spiritual stuff but really just take advantage of the fact that our friends work in the restaurant industry and have them comp our meals.")

8. forced bryson to strip in the middle of a traffic jam.

9. spent a day in the snow.

would you look at the size of that orb? if TLC's ghost hunters has taught me anything, it's that ghosts are total camera whores.

in closing, basically all we did was eat. and watch vampire diaries. and eat some more. and then talk about what we wanted to eat next.

this post was weak. but i gave you a ton of pictures so quit whining.

tis the season.

2011-01-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

meowy christmas from morgan wood on Vimeo.

yes i am aware this video is semi old, but it doesn't mean the message is any less true. also, please try to ignore the rats nest that is my hair. ( i was in africa, people) shout out to rachie and rob for being so talented.

2010-12-20T11:32:00.000-08:00

creepiest internet ad ever in the history of the universe.
hands down.
period.
end of story.
nobody should have to witness this. NOBODY.

Christmas Sisters

2010-12-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

Don't be jealous over this. Christmas lights at the Temple as Sisters in Zion. AWWW!

life is a playground, and i'm looking for someone to play with.

2010-12-13T10:06:00.000-08:00

we'd like to thank the watkins for showing this to us, thus forever changing our lives.

i can be a trendy blogger too

2010-11-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

remember how you're not a cool blogger unless you offer "give-a-ways"? well, i want to be respected amongst the blogging community; erego, i am offering a GIVEAWAY!!!!! (said in oprah voice) this is how it works. i'm going to post pictures of stuff i am giving away and if you want it, just comment and say "hey morgan. i want that." and i will say "ok." and then i will give it to you.

first giveaway:

one hour photo-session with yours truly! i am willing to shoot engagements, bridals, senior portraits, or family sessions. i am really good at capturing the truth and beauty of life. plus i can make you look like a rockstar. here is some of my work.

second giveaway:

vintage clothing! everyone loves the vintage look, so hop on board! i'm giving away some of my finest pieces, in rare, delicate form.

first look: vintage utah jazz sweatshirt (complete with ripped pocket and paint stains. it screams vintage) and dr. pepper pajama pants.

hilary might be willing to negotiate her asu t-shirt and teddy bear pjs that she may or may not have soiled while battling a nasty case of the stomach flu.

second look: cats t-shirt. (adam not included) tell the world you are a fan of broadway and felines with this comfortable yet versatile tee.

third look: peruvian purse. if ever you wanted to seem cultured and well traveled, now is the time. snatch this baby up! it used to look just like this before i broke the zipper and spilled tea all over it. almost brand new.

third giveaway:

jewelry and accessories!

rape whistle: look super cute and protect yourself with this fashionable whistle. just hang it around your neck and you're ready to go! its sleek black color will go with almost anything.

student i.d. card from senior year of high school: i don't really know what you're supposed to do with this. not my problem. but it features one of my best friends katie jean mills (now watkins) so i guess that's a bonus.

well bloggers, these are my giveaways! i'll announce the winners tomorrow along with a fresh, fun, and sassy new post talking about my headband making business.

love you!

-morgan.

Pajama Jeans

2010-11-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

Our mom discovered this and can't stop talking about it:

But I think I can one up her:

i die

2010-10-31T11:26:00.000-07:00

halloweenhead.

2010-10-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

last year

(shout out to my man diego)

this year

my mother is not pleased.

also, can we talk about my sick frida kahlo obsession? i would like to apologize to anyone who enters my room and sees the following:

sick right?

i would also like to apologize to all of my studio teachers. i'm sorry for putting you through hours of critiques on my useless frida sketches.

teacher: "morgan, what is the meaning behind this? what are you trying to convey?"

me: "nothing. i just like frida."

teacher: ".................." (that's their way of calling me a lost cause)

why yes, i did make a pathetic attempt at mixing van gogh with frida. and yes, teacher did mark me down for neglecting to use soft led prisma colors. i blame the teenage boy at michael's. he said he knew what he was talking about. hey pre-pubescent child. THANKS FOR NOTHING.

happy halloween. i hope all of your dreams come true.

sister wives

2010-10-13T22:56:00.001-07:00

please tell me this is the first thing you thought of too....

am i right people?!!??

i'm trying to blog about relevant things.

2010-09-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

look who got married!

no title.

2010-09-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

go freaken watch this.

it's rare that i LOL (laugh out loud) in movies, but this is one of my few exceptions. plus it doesn't hurt that my lovers justin rice and keith poulson are the stars.

i'm not trying to mob around with james cameron right now. i just want some funny sentences thrown my way.

gO dEviLZzZ

2010-08-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

school is back in session which means i'm back on suicide watch.
also, blackboard is down thus the reason for this post.

i'd just like to brag for a minute (about my humility) and also about how great i am at not being an overachiever. i would like to share with you the secrets of my non-success.

how to be an average student:

1. always be late to class. and if you get stuck in traffic that's even better. it gives you more time to take pictures of yourself and send them to your friends. i did that this morning, and we all know my friends had a better day because of it.

this is the face i make when i'm trying to impress people.

2. don't pay attention to the lecture, just watch the students instead. sometimes, and by sometimes i mean all the time, i keep a tally of how many PINK sweat pants and sigma chi-bi-li-ni-gay frat shirts i see.

3. when you decide to "dedicate" yourself, take a picture. it's important to document these milestones. don't be afraid to share this moment with a few deserving contacts in your phonebook. you can also attach a funny message if you like. (but that part is like soooo optional)

(actual photo. note the 7 bullet points and how i gave up soon after)

4. when it comes time to doing homework, never ever EVER start doing it without surrounding yourself with the proper distractions/time wasters.

here are a few of my personal favorites: (apart from facebook, youtube, and pandora. those are just a given.)

warning: these are not froo-froo websites that have stupid pictures not relating to anything. nobody wants to effing look at polaroids of teacups or hot air balloons or ballett slippers hanging on a doorknob. those websites are for people who don't know how to read.

- 27 b/s

- thrillcall

- mikey boy

- newdust

- lasers

you're welcome for the sweet music hookups and the rest are so lolz worthy. right guys?

5. my final tip is my personal favorite. i like to call it "nap time."

hopefully these tips will help you become less desirable and more common.

love you.

love,

me.

ps. i don't know why the layout of this post looks weird. it just does. so pretend it doesn't k?

pretty sure this is how every conversation plays out in our house.

2010-08-11T01:28:00.001-07:00

2010-07-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

overrated:

james mercer wants people to think he makes good music.
james mercer is a liar.

underrated:

kitten mittons.

better late than never.

2010-06-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

my best friend adam got his mission call!

although the wood clan will miss him dearly, we couldn't be more excited for his new adventure!

adam, thank you for the following:

-wearing earplugs freshman year of swimteam.
-being a part of marching band, but not turning into a band geek.
-going to pretty much every single orchestra concert. and staying the entire time.
-moving to tucson, thus giving me an excuse for weekend roadtrips.
-taking me on legitimate dates everytime you come up from tucson, all the while listening to me whine about other boys.
-helping out immensly with hil's wedding.
-painting the newlywed's house.
-being my therapist.
-appreciating todd's candor as much as the rest of us.
-supporting all your girls when they got married. (we're the last ones standing?!?!!)
-driving the inkspot.
-for being one of my best/most loyal/genuine friends.

(also, thank you for being my date to all those weddings)

the prague/slovakia mission is lucky to have you!
crazy that i'll be home from my mission before you get home from yours. sucka!

p.s. sorry i said you're going to come home fat. i didn't really mean it. except that i did. but only a little bit. that's what friends are for....

we never blog.

2010-05-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

probably because we're too lazy and or boring for this bizz.
but morgan is here to save the day.
dear readers let me entertain you for a minute.
(you're probably asking yourself, "self, where is the older, nicer, petite sister that is hilary?")
well my little reader, hilary is married therefore she has stuff to do.
like fold laundry and fornicate.
back to the previously mentioned entertainment which is just a fancy word for updates.

UPDATES.

(this picture doesn't have anything to do with life. but it's recent. and it sheds light on our horrible posture.)

-one time hilary got called to be her ward's camp director.
ahahahahahaaaahahahahahahahahahhhhaaaaaaaaaa hahhahahahahahaha. eff her life. am i right?

-one time i became obsessed (and i don't throw that word around lightly) OBSESSED with lil wayne. he just has a big crush on me. that's all.

-one time dad fell asleep in church and we took a picture.

-this other time i watched lock up raw on msnbc and it talked about inmates tattooing their eyeballs. and i took pictures. and then i sent my friends those pictures. because i'm selfless.

-one time hilary decided to throw chad a graduation party. because he graduated from college!

-this other time morgan read her favorite book (little women) for the millionth time. and she still cried (for the millionth time) when jo broke laurie's heart.

-and then this other time we did this other stuff related to summertime. like growing our bangs out and drinking lots of dr pepper and swimming in really chlorinated pools.

and now you should look at these pictures of some dogs.

this post was mediocre at best. but it happened.
-no ceilings.

mother's day.

2010-05-09T18:58:00.001-07:00

shout out to our momma!

what a babe.

kristian matsson

2010-04-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

me thinks yes.

el oh el

2010-04-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

i sold out.

2010-03-05T21:26:00.000-08:00

clicky click.

erica. dawn. lyle.

2010-02-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

erica dawn was my valentine.

for the second year in a row.

in honor of this overrated, commercialized holiday that inevitably leads you into the debilitating realm of self-loathing, jealousy, desperation, and false notions of love, we decided to bypass the traditional flowers,chocolates, and sappy card exchange.

because for one, we're not lesbos.

(but if we were we would totally choose each other as life partners. go ahead and judge.)

two, flowers and chocolates and sappy cards aren't really our cup of tea.

and three, erica lives in hawaii therefore any sort of gift exchange would burn a hole in some one's wallet.

not to mention, erica has a lovely boyfriend who took care of the aforementioned sappy gift exchange. well done jake, well done.

so erica, here is my gift. and entire blog post dedicated in your honor. a post that will not only feed any human's natural desire for genuine flattery, but a post that will make people cry themselves to sleep saying "why? why can't erica be my best friend?"

and the answer is this dear reader, because she is my friend. deal with it.

erica and i have been friends since time began.
and by that i mean 2nd/3rd gradeish.
which equals a lot of adventures. and if i were to write down every adventure not only would this post become longer than tiger wood's list of mistresses, but all of you reader(s) out there would lose a lot of respect and gain a lot of hatred.

so, in lieu of memories. i will list why erica is my favorite amiga.
-she understands the true concept of lurking.
-she respects the chevy tracker.
-she skypes with me at all hours of the night.
-she always texts back.
-she pees her pants with me.
-she teaches me how to flirt with boys.
-she comforts me when my attempts at flirting fall flat.
-she tells me when it's deering season.
-she doesn't get embarrassed when i act like a cat.
*or when i make red light boyfriends.
*or when i try and seduce police officers.
*or when i wear mis-matched outfits.
*or when laugh at inappropriate times.
*or when i make prank calls.
*or when i dance.
*or when i forget to wear shoes.
*or when i yell at blonde girls.
-she shares clothes with me. (highlighter...?)
-she writes funny notes.
-she throws birthday parties with me.
-she gives me therapy sessions.
-she explains my jokes to other people.
-she has really pretty hair.

happy valentines day grams.
xoxo,
gossip girl.

ok so it's been a while....

2010-01-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

2 months later and we're still alive. and a lot has happened.
so here are your updates. (because so many people read this and are most likely losing sleep at night wondering what the awkward wood sisters have been up to.)

we were lucky enough to ring in the new year south of the border. waaaay south. like south america south. peru, uruguay, and argentina have all made it into our passports. we loved it. and i, (morgan) am crossing my fingers that i get called on my mission to that continent.

sidenote: i (morgan) have decided to go on a mission. isn't that swell? but don't get too excited. i can't even start getting my papers ready until may. so we'll just have to sweat this out together.

moving on. todd looked handsome the entire trip so naturally we took as many pictures of him as possible. we now present, the chronicles of todd.

simply majestic.

other happenings include the following.

hil cut her hair.

morgan started replacing dr. pepper with herbal tea. the withdrawls haven't been pretty.

mom came clean about her not so secret crush on the new bachelor. (he's a douche mom. it's time you realize that.)

larissa got married!

yes i cropped myself from the stomach up. those bridesmaid dresses made me consider anorexia. and i say that with 100% seriousness.

savannah got engaged!

(sorry vannah, we don't have any decent pictures together. but you are my favorite traveling companion so that makes up for it riiight?)

chad's been sucking back on matte day and night.

school has left our bank accounts empty.

jesrsey shore has littered our tivo.

and stefsalter and justine have supported morgan in her toshbabyboo phase.

i don't feel like writing anymore.

seacrest out.

2009-11-21T08:50:00.001-08:00

hey bella can we ask you something?

what's with the monotone voice?
you're boring. and you may have a stuttering problem.

and taylor....

just take your shirt off already.

the verdict is in.

2009-11-01T08:21:00.001-08:00

you can't get more scottsdale white trash than this.
oh fox reality network, you've done it again.
what with your catchy show titles, botox sponsors, and feisty anorexics busting cheaters left and right. you've got an allure we can't deny.
thank you for spicing up our tivo, and not to mention our lives.

what a precious, precious family.
happy holidays, from all of us to you.

inspiration.

2009-10-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

so this one time i was sitting in my art class studying the lovely frida kahlo when BAM.
it hit me.
hello halloween costume of 2009.

hey, it's better than a slutty nurse.

signing off,
morgan.

We're Golden

2009-10-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

We might be way to excited to get this album:

*Dont mind the "undies" b/c we don't!

we finally figured it out.

2009-09-14T22:13:00.000-07:00

she's a cyborg.

Where's Waldo?

2009-09-09T18:25:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was spent with the Wood sisters doing what Wood sisters do.

Friday night: H and M both departed to go shopping only to discover that they had no money to buy anything. So instead ended up in the QT parking lot with a 32 ouncer of DP and a tub Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake. As we lurked, a random girl came up and asked us what we thought was a random question. " Are you guys going to a Where's Waldo party?"
WHAT?! She then explained that we both looked like Waldo from Wheres Waldo books, as we were both wearing stripped shirts and big glasses on our face. Because that is exactly what we wanted somone to come up to us and say! Case in point... look at M from the blog below and picture H with a similar shirt and red glasses. We looked at eachother and just said, "Yes we did just get back form the Waldo party."

This made me realize that H and M randomly wear outfits that are similar even though we now live in diffrent houses. Sisters in Zion? Sure... I guess. But I think it stems from our mom who dressed us alike since we were born. You remember the big bows and church outfits that were always the same. And there were always those Christmas pictures with everyone dressing in the same colors. So thanks Mom for imprinitng in our minds to wear the same outfit since birth. Because now years later we still go out in public wearing the same outfit and can look like Waldo.For that was our lifetime goal.

Perfect!

2009-09-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

hey guys.
look at me.

i'm emo.

also.
i have a feeling that this blog is slowly becoming just morgan of hilary & morgan.
apparently when you get married you're supposed to do stuff with your husband.
like have a newlywed blog.
and live together.
weird.

it's official.

2009-08-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

everyone is engaged.
and when i say everyone i mean 93% of gilbert.
including two of my lifelong friends whom i love dearly.

karolin

i'm really good at awkward standing and pointing.

and

larissa

i'm also really good at not matching.

congrats ladies! i can't wait to be the maid to your bride. thank you for staying friends with me for all these years. even after those one times i had weird bangs and peed my pants.

hilandchad.blogspot.com

2009-08-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

Yes... We have started our own blog! Come and start stalking... but leave a comment so I can add you to our list of friends!

www.hilandchad.blogspot.com

H: I am starting a blog for me and chad
M: EWWWW... Your gonna have one of those newlywed blogs?
H: Maybe, but it will be a cool one
M: Sure it will.

We all love eachother though... so this new blog should play nice with the old one!

hi.

2009-07-29T11:28:00.001-07:00

i'm back.
i missed all of you and i hope you missed me.
but........

i miss africa more.

The Tables are Turning

2009-06-10T17:42:00.001-07:00

There is something about us Wood girls that make us itch. Its not our skin, but our insides that tug at our heartstrings and tell us to TRAVEL! Last year at this time my family sent me (Hilary) off to London for my big adventure. But in two days we send Morgie off on her big adventure. For those who haven't heard Morgie is going to be going to

Mozambique Africa

She is going to volunteer in an orphange for 5 weeks. I am so excited for her to go and see the world.. plus she gets to stop in London for her last three days of travel. She leaves on Friday and will greatly be missed. So now I don't have anyone to send random texts and come over and eat otter pops with. But I promised I would Tivo Jimmy Fallon if his Saved By The Bell reunion happens sometime this summer. Don't worry about that.

So spread your wings and fly Morgan! We love you very much and have a blast

sometimes the macbook cam comes in handy.

2009-05-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

this is what hilary looks like when chad makes us watch old zepplin performances.
this is not what she looks like when he talks about wanting to dress like jimmy page.

she just wants him to dress like nick jonas.
and if that's wrong, she doesn't want to be right.
and i know that phrase is pretty cliche, but right now that's the only thing that comes to mind.
and i'm ok with that. so you should be too.
that is all.
actually it's not. i just decided the other day that i would like to have dinner with susanna kaysen.
because she would probably tell me some good stories and some disturbing stories and some entertaining stories and some inspiring stories.
and she's a scorpio. and i'm a scorpio too.
and i just think that would be nice.
and i like nice.
and if susanna says no then i'd choose tina fey.
because she's funny.
and i like funny.
that is all. (for reals this time).
-morgan.

addiction.

2009-05-06T22:33:00.001-07:00

for some sad reason we have not been able to stop imitating this.

if our mom asks us to turn our music down, we imitate.
if todd tells us about his day at work, we imitate.
if a cell phone rings, we imitate.

dear bill hader,
please stop being so funny so we won't deem it necessary to imitate you thus letting us get back to our lives.
love,
us.

can we get a shout out.

2009-05-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

our mom got her masters degree.
and todd gets his in two weeks.
we think this is blog worthy.
and we also think they were cute newlyweds.

2009-04-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

i rescue dogs.
some people may say i smell like a labrador.
but i like to think it's the smell of humanity.

i named her ferdinand. and i'm going to write a book about our adventures and turn it into a screenplay and it will earn more than marley and me. because owen wilson won't be in it. and i will.
cross your fingers nobody claims her.

To Morgan

2009-04-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

Things I miss about not living with my Sissy:

1. Sister Sleepovers
2. Watching one another eat a snack
3. Lurking
4. Drama from M Bay
5. Tivo
6. Listening to Todd parables about Stallions and Barnyards
7. Rolling our eyes
8. Saying "Its just a Wood girl thing"
9. Laffy Taffy,Pawcon,and Cacka'
10. Taking naps together with blankets two sizes to small for us!

We will watch Twlight soon... I promise

Wedding Update!

2009-01-28T20:47:00.000-08:00

Alot of people have been asking to hear about the wedding. I am sorry that its been such a long delay. Here are a few pictures that the Sloans took of us prior to the wedding. We are still waiting patiently to get the rest of the pictures from them. Enjoy!

The wedding day was absolutly perfect. I woke up very calm and collected. I told everyone that I was not going to be bothered by anything on that day, and I wasn't. Me and Chad got sealed at 1:30pm in the afternoon. Chad's Grandpa Bowman sealed us and he spent alot of time before reading a poem and song to express the love we share for one another and also for the Lord. It was the most amazing experience to look around the sealing room at all the people that love and support us as much as we love them. I cannot begin to tell my exteneded family how grateful I am for them to come down to celebrate with me. It has always been just the four of us, and to have grandparents, aunts ,uncles and cousins to come down and help meant the world to me. The reception was in my parents backyard and was amazingly breathtaking.As soon as the pictures come in I will post them. I have never been happier in my entire life. I am married to the most wonderful man who supports and loves me like no one else has done before. We recently bought a house and are in the process of nesting and making it our home. I cannot thank everyone to make our day the best day of our lives. For all the family and friends that were there, We love you!

I also am posting a link to part of our wedding video. Our videogpraher filmed this portion of the video as we shot with our photgraphers. It was so much fun working with him, and he did an amazing job. Hope you enjoy!

http://eastvalleyproductions.com/blog.cfm?postID=99

hey.

2009-01-21T21:30:00.000-08:00

doglover199709 got her camera fixed. which means new videos. which means i can return to wasting my time.
morgan+youtube=eternal bliss.

When I should be doing my homework...

2008-11-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

I should be writing a 4 page paper right now, but I'm not. Instead here are a few pictures from me and chad's engagment shoot.

Also here is the link to see the rest of the pictures in a slideshow:

http://www.sloanphotographers.info/darkroom/share/?client/hilarychadengagement

Hope you like them. Enjoy!

Oh Happy Day.

2008-11-20T13:47:00.001-08:00

This is what Morgan looks like when someone breaks into her Chevy Tracker and steals her purse.

It's been a hard week for the both of them, the Tracker has been stripped of its dignity and passenger window while Morgan has been stripped of 5 bucks and some gift cards. They are both expected to make a full recovery. In the mean time, baked goods wouldn't hurt.

Happy Freaken Halloween

2008-11-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

Apparently slut was the 'it'-costume this year.
And apparently someone neglected to tell Shep and Me.

I proudly present Flava Flav and Laser Cat.

Conversation #1
Party-goer: "Hey guys! Stephanie you look great! I love Flava Flav. That's like sooooo funny! LOL OMG BRB CTR."
Party-goer then looks at me. "Ummmmm what are you supposed to be?"
Morgan: "I'm Laser Cat."
Party-goer: "Laser what?"
Morgan: "LASER CAT. It's from SNL."
Party-goer: "I don't know what that is." Party-goer then walks away.
Morgan: "Happy Halloween...?"

Conversation #2
Party-goer: "Flava Flav!! That's an awesome costume Stephanie!"
Party-goer stares at me.
Still staring.
Party-goer: "Are you a flame thrower or something?"
Morgan: "No. I'm Laser Cat."
Party-goer: "Is that like a cartoon character?"
Morgan: "No. It's from Saturday Night Live. My cat shoots lasers out of its mouth and kills people."
Party-goer: "Oh...ummmm well I'll talk to you guys later."

Conversation #3
Party-goer: "Love the costume Steph! Flava Flav! What a great idea!"
Steph: "Thanks! What do you think of Morgan's costume?"
Party-goer: "Oh ummmm...wait what are you?"
Morgan: "Whatever you want me to be."

By the end of the night I had lost about 80% of my street cred.

And for those of you who are still wondering what Laser Cat is....go ahead and feed your curiosity.

And if any of you are wondering who Flava Flav is, then I regret to inform you we can no longer be friends.

Another One Bites the Dust

2008-10-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I got engaged on Saturday night! His name is Chad Bowman and is the greatest guy. We have been dating for about 9 months and haved loved every minute of it. He patiently waited for me while I was in London and since I have been back things have just been perfect. I love him with all my heart and cannot wait to spend eternity with him!

He proposed to me Saturday night up at his family's cabin. We sat by the campfire and he played me the sweetest song on his guitar. After kneeling down he proposed and gave me the most magnificant diamond ring I have ever seen (With the help of Morgan). We walked into the cabin with not only his family waiting to see us, but my family was there as well. I was overwhelmed with excitment and emotion. After alot of Congrats and hugs, we sat and ate cake to celebrate the occasion (because I love cake and can't get enough of it) I am so excited to be married and as everyone keeps saying "am basking in the joy of just being engaged". So the wedding plans are in full swing but I will keep everyone posted!

The Ring

Me really excited to be engaged and eat cake

The Cake

Basking in the glow of being engaged!

That that was a pretty mushy post. Sorry Morgan

Our New Best Friend.....

2008-09-27T16:45:00.000-07:00

Jo Bro's

2008-09-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday me and Morgan were driving around running errands and decided something.

WE ARE NOT ASHAMED OF THE JONAS BROTHERS! Yep we said it, judge us if you must. We have decided to come out of hiding and admidt our true feelings for them.

It was only a few months ago that our converstation went like this:

M: I don't know what the boys names are, or what they sing but they sure are freakin godd looking!
H: Arn't they like 12 years old?
M: Yes and they are freakin hott!

And then randomly during the summer, I got a phone call from Morgan saying she went to their concert. That 25 dollar ticket changed her life forever.

Now we will admit that we have watched Camp Rock, and also Tivo Nick, Kevin and Jo everytime they are on a talk show. And yes we might have screamed when they were on the VMA'S.

Yesterday's Conversation at Target:
H: Lets go buy the Jonas Brothers cd
M: Just one cd? Lets get both! Want to get the exteneded version with behind the scene footage.
H: Duh! Nick had Diabetes he needs all the support we can give him.

PS: Hilary is 22 and Morgan is 18 years old

we stole this from our cousins because we love them..

2008-09-10T22:38:00.000-07:00

Memories...
You better do this or else.

1. Add a comment on our blog and leave one memory that you and we had together. It doesn't matter if you knew us a little or a lot, just do anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about us, I'll guess you're playing the game and we'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

listen up fools.

2008-08-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

love love love this movie.
go see it.

but just remember, i told you first.

Dear Jason,

2008-08-11T12:12:00.000-07:00

Thank you for not destroying Phelps' dream of winning 8 consecutive gold medals.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/share.html?videoid=0811_HD_SWB_HL_L0194

It is greatly appreciated.

Also, I'm currently single.

Don't be shy.

Love, Morgan

They're Back

2008-08-07T12:52:00.001-07:00

It's times like these that make me wish I had actually swam the requested amount of laps at practice instead of:
-calling "emergency captains meetings" that took place in the parking lot of QT.
-hiding in the bathroom stall when I heard the words "200 IM at full tilt boogie."
-telling coach richardson I couldn't swim today "because I'm having female problems."
-rummaging through duffel bag after duffel bag hoping to find a set of car keys. and when I was successful, sneaking out and napping in their car.
-holding dance parties in the bathroom with the girls synchro team.
-ducking under the lane lines until I reached the dive tank, where I would then ask the divers to not to rat on me.
-sitting at the wall claiming that my goggles won't stop leaking

I'm sorry I let you down coach.
Love,
Morgan.

I'm coming home...SOON!

2008-08-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

Here are a few reasons why I am excited to come home:

-Have my own room (instead of sharing with 11 other girls)
-Have my own shower
-I never thought I be excited for dry heat, but the humidity is out of control
- Not sit next to a drunk in the tube
-Not sit next to someone who smells like B.O.
-Drive my car
-TEXT!
-Watch my Tivo, or TV in general. I have been deprieved of that for 2 months, and if you know me you realize I need my tv shows.
-Get free fro yo from Vannah
Sunday nights
-Mabel sitting on my lap
- Listen to Morgie and Steph's single ward adventures
- Be with my boyfriend
-Hang with my fam

So here are some fun pictures of what I have been up to these past few weeks!

Big Ben

Scotland! I guess I should make a whole blog about that trip, but you know how the Wood girls operate

I will probably get more comments on this pic alone. Come on people its just Harry Potter, no big deal! Write about that comment folks!

Abbey Road! So much fun!

I went and saw Wicked. It changed my life. The End.

I will see you soon in the valley of the sun! Good night and good luck

Dear Hilary, please come home.

2008-07-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

Here are some updates for you.

Todd still watches Wipeout. He laughs every time.
Chad's hair is still curly.
Savannah still gives us free fro-yo.
Mom still cleans every day.

My face has become makeup repellent.

Stephanie turned into a child molester.

Brookie is still the most perfect person on the planet. I got pulled over by the stupid police, she flashed them her big smile and they let me off with a warning. Thank you Brookie.

London's stupid.
Gilbert is like 50,000 times better.

I'm still here!

2008-07-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

Despite what you've been hearing about London concerning the study abroad students who have been stabbed, I am perfectly safe over here. It has been amazing since my last post and I am ready to update my life!

Kensington Gardens is right across the street from where I live, so after dinner its now tradition to go and get some gelato and eat it in the park near the pond. It is a perfect way to enjoy a lazy summer night in London!

Stonehenge was very mystical and not as big as I thought it was going to be, but every picture you take there turns out perfect because of the great monument standing in the background

The Roman Baths are in Bath...duh! This is where ancient Romans found a hot spring running right through the middle of their city. They built a temple and baths around it to make an ancient swimming pool. People say that there are good minerals in the water that is good for your body. I tasted it and... it was hot and tasted like lead. I would not recommend drinking the water!

So this ones for my dad! Wimbolden was happening just a week ago and a few of us decided to go down and see if we could even get in. Not only did we get in but we traded our tickets in for an extra 5 pounds and got to go into Centre Court and see Serena Williams play. It was the coolest thing ever!

Tower of London is really cool and is where all the executions were held in London remember Ann Boylnn.. yep she got beheaded here. Along with that this is where the crown jewels are held, it was very intersting to see how much expensive crowns are held here and who wore them!
The British Museum is full of artifacts from around the world including the Rosetta Stone

Crystal Skull

and mummies from Egypt!

I will try to update again soon, I am very busy and there is always something to do in this big city. But I wouldn't want to be spending my summer anywhere else!

London called!

2008-06-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

So here I am in London and I am loving it! I am studying with BYU study abroad and am living right by Notting Hill Gate. Here are the highlights so far:

This is the Mansion House where Elizabeth the I. lived while a child

This is not the London bridge but right by it... just pretend though ok?

Here I found a back alley with tons of music, art, and drunk men everywhere at 2 pm! Very fun...not because of the drunk men but because of...ok because of the drunk men!

This is the first deli we ate at. My first experience with fish and chips! Yummy!

Of course I had to take a picture by this famous structure. Don't judge!

I miss my family and Chad like crazy but I am so glad that they are supporting me in this great adventure! I love you guys!

Bon Voyage

2008-06-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

Hilary left for London today.
I'll see you in 2 moths.
And I'll Tivo all your shows for you.

Jump Her

2008-06-12T13:20:00.001-07:00

Please don't ever watch this movie. We beg of you.
We wouldn't wish this on our worst enemy.

Whenever Hilary and I discover that a movie is bad, we text our angry feelings to each other. It doesn't matter if we are sitting on the same couch, 3 feet apart. The texting will happen.
It happened the other night.

The following conversation took place between 9:17 and 10:00 pm.

Morgan: Can you believe that just 10 hours ago my life was better cuz I hadn't watched this movie?
Hilary: Rookie, you have no idea.
Morgan: This movie makes me want to punch babies in the face.
Hilary: Why does that guy have a baseball bat at the coluseum? Why is he pissing on the coluseum?
Morgan: Rachel Bilson has the body of a 13 year old boy. And the acting skills of a retarded asian.
Hilary: Billy Elliot should jumper. I mean jump her.
Morgan: This movie would be a lot better if Shia was the star. And if the plot was completely different.
Hilary: Amen! p.s. jump her.
Morgan: Samuel L. Jackson's hair looks like Sisco.
.............................................................................

Worst 88 minutes of our lives. And we will never get them back.
I thought I was free once the credits rolled on the screen.
But the first words out of Hilary's mouth were "Hey let's check out the bonus features."
No thanks.

We're Back

2008-05-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

So after alot of death threats about how we don't blog anymore I've decided to post. We have been really busy I mean school got out and we have been having stressful meetings about our screenplay... and the tivo has needed to be cleaned out, so its been busy busy for both of us. But I wanted to post about a little lesson I learned. My friend Matt was moving to Hawaii and I decided to be nice enough to throw a going away party for him on my boat in the backyard. It was a good thought but that night turned into hell on earth. Here's how it played out:

First- Invite a couple of friends to say goodbye and have a fun boat ride around the lake, instead over 18 people piled on the boat to weigh it down

Second- Drive around for over 2 hours on a weighted boat: not a good idea

Third- As we docked the boat we noticed that it started to fill up with water. So I had to do the worst thing and go wake my dad up and tell him the boat is sinking. Lets just say he wasn't in the best of moods that night!

Fourth- After another 2 hours of trying diffrent methods of saving the boat it sank! Like Titanic (it didn't help that my friends started humming Nearer My God to Thee)

Good news is the boat is ok and up and working again, but it will always be a reminder to think logically even in a exciting, fun situation. Yeah this is an embarrissing story, but the Wood Family will always remember the night that our Love Boat sank!

Attention Blogger.com

2008-04-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

We're writing a screenplay.

Just call us the next Farrelly Brothers.

Only don't.

Because we're not brothers.

We're sisters.

And our last name isn't Farrelly.

See you on the red carpet.

Traffic School

2008-04-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

To all of our stalkers this one is for you! I (Hilary) had the greatest opportunity to go to Traffic School and experience 6 hours of pure hell! Here are some of the highlights:

1. Mr McBride my teacher started off the class by instructing us on how to hack into a computer. Only 6 more hours to go!

2. Over half the class was older than 60 years old. Which means lots of note taking and questions for McBride. People get a clue that nobody cares about how you got your ticket for speeding!

3. McBride would answer almost every question that was asked to him with, " I don't understand what your trying to explain to me, moving on!" Moving on indeed.

4. The lamest question was asked, "Can you get a DUI if you are on the back of a horse?" Really? Seriously?

5. I got to sit next to a 78 year old lady who is in my home ward. So here's a shout out to you Sister Rice. The way she gets out of tickets is by explaining to the officer that she can't wear her seatbelt because her boobs get in the way. I guess it didn't work this time around.

I would keep a watchful eye out for those crazy drivers on the road. My suggestion would be to just ride a horse, drunk or sober you'll never get pulled over by the fuzz for trodding along on a horsie!

Attention Bloggers

2008-04-01T22:20:00.000-07:00

April Fools Day is the gayest holiday on Earth.

That is all.

Laura Tagged Me

2008-03-22T12:41:00.001-07:00

Ten Years Ago:
I was 8. I liked Lip Smackers and Even Stevens.

Five places I have lived:
1. My old house
2. My other old house
3. My current house
4. My future house
5. Your house

Five things on my to do list:
1. Lather
2. Rinse
3. Repeat
4. Pay my library fees
5. Sleep

I enjoy:
Quiet sarcasm. Food. Summertime.

Two bad habits:
1. Eavesdropping
2. Biting my nails

Five things you may not know about me:
1. I've been electrocuted 4 times.
2. I'm allergic to cats.
3. I hate going to the mall. It makes me anxious.
4. I hate Nicholas Cage.
5. I love anything to do with prison.

Five jobs I've had:
1. Alpine Valley Bread Company. I was a slave to the masses.
2. Rotelli's Italian Restaurant. I was a waitress. I had to wear a tie. I hated every minute of it.
3. Tutor. No thanks.
4. Classical Strings Quartet. Free wedding cake. Enough said.
5. Respite worker. I love it.

Tag: Stephie.

Love Hate Relationship

2008-03-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

This past week we went up to Utah to spend time with family. As soon as we stepped off the plane we realized that there will always be a love/hate relationship with the state of Utah. Here are the pro's and con's:

We will start with the cons

-you always need a jacket
-flip flops can only be worn during the summer instead of all year long
-people stare at you while you're in the car
-there are no tinted windows
-potholes in the road because of snow
-strangers are way too friendly with you

Pros

-there is not alot of smokers
-strangers are way to friendly with you
-dunford doughnuts are the best
-mrs. bakers cake is the best
-spagettii factory with pesto ranch dressing
-driving around with cousins in the car
-apollo burger
-mountains
-curved roads
-almost kissing a mexican I ran into by the bathroom
-seeing cousins and now their cute kids
-but the best part of our trip was Cal! We love you!!!

thank you for being my sister

2008-03-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

To Hilary
From your Sister

thank you for being my sister.
it all started when i was born.
you've been there ever since.
you let me wear your clothes.
even when i stretch them out.
you let me lock you in the freezer.
you let me push you.
you let me shove you.
you share a blog with me.
you don't get creeped out when i wink at you.
you always wink back.
you call me "snow angel" when wear my white robe.
you laugh at me when i throw stuff at the dog.
you tell me that i can pull off birkenstocks.
you don't erase my tivod shows.
you tivo shows that you know i will like.
you know when i am in need of a good story.
you supported me when i went 3 months without shaving.
you supported me when all i could eat was splenda.
you let me pick out your outfits.
you let me spy on your door scenes.
you tell me when it's time for lunch.
you tell me when it's time for a snack.
you let me make fun of dawson's creek.
you appreciate awkward people/humor/moments as much as i do.
you know the perfect times to roll your eyes.
you put up with me on trips when i get in my really weird, hyper moods.
you understand what it's like to pee your pants.
you always lock my car door.
you are my sister in zion.
and i am yours.

To Morgan
From your Sister

thank you for being my sister
it all started when you were born
thank you for letting me squeeze your cheeks when you were a baby
even though you did fall off the couch twice
I was there when you fell out the window
our favorite song is dear gabby
you let me make fun of myspace
thank you for dancing with me in the bathroom
get low, get low
I always let you sit by the window seat on an airplane
I always get a heating pad when you have cramps, or a migraine
you are the funniest person I know
you have the coolest glasses that I said first
you watch stupid reality shows with me
you like anything to do with prison
you take good pictures
you didn't feed the nay nay's
you have midnight snacks with me
even though its only 10:30 at night
you tried watching the O.C
I got you into facebook, but that's ok
We both would move to NYC in a heartbeat
You let me spill poptart crumbs in the sofa bed
we both suck at scuba diving
eating french fries with Todd in Hawaii is the best
you make up stupid games with me
like the huh huh game
you supported me through the Bitter years
and vice versa
you let me play the team game, sometimes
you are my sister in zion
and I am yours

2008-02-13T13:02:00.000-08:00

Morgan here. Today my cup is half empty.

I hate the fact that I am broke. I hate the fact that I haven't made a QT stop in over 45,000 years because I am broke. Solution: Maybe I should take my fellow classmate's advice. The classmate that has two tattoos above her boobs and when pushed together makes a whole. Classy. Her friend was in a similar conundrum, and resorted to selling rain water on e-bay for over $200. Rain water. On e-bay. For $200

I hate the fact that the new Twilight movie has been cast and the outcome sucks the big one. Hard.
Bella: Kristen Stewart. Need I remind you that this chick was in In The Land of Women. One of the top 10 worst movies in the history of cinema. No no no. Stephanie Meyer. You got it wrong.

Edward: Robert Pattinson. AKA Cedric Diggory. AKA LAME. I don't want to watch him snog with anyone but ChoChang. End of story.

Solution: Let me cast the movie for I am always right. And if you don't like my picks, tough.

Bella: Sophia Bush

Edward: Emile Hirsch. We are getting married.

I hate the fact that I don't feel like bloggin anymore.
Solution: Stop.
Goodbye.

London's Calling!!!

2008-02-04T18:17:00.000-08:00

So back in September I decided I needed to do something eventful for myself in the summer of 08. I applied for an internship in Washington DC {but that fell through}, I voyaged to Provo to become an EFY counsler {and then realized... been there done that} And finally applied for BYU study abroad in London for the summer. After many admission forms, and a phone interview that didn't go so well I found out that I GOT IN!!! I leave June 24th for London and will stay...forever. And when I say forever I mean Aug. 15th. I am so excited to go over and spend the summer soaking up the culture and artwork of England along with other countries. Wish me luck as I travel to the Beatles hometown and all the sancocho de gallina I can eat.

your team

2008-01-13T18:21:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Laura Fletcher has changed my life, for she has introduced me to "the team game." If you do not know how to play the team game, take a look at Laura's blog. She will provide further instructions.

Seeing as how this is the digital age, we have updated the game and started playing it via camera phone. The following images are real. And they are all on Laura's team. Here we go kids.

Category #1
awkward things.

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my cameltoe

my 4th grade picture turned into a christmas ornament. happy birthday jesus.

Category #2.
awkward people.

my friend's roommate. her eyes resemble that of a siberian huskie.

yours truly.

a lesbian on a motorcycle.

Category # 3.
awkward signs

hilary and i discovered this treasure at a dollar store in glendale.

gaylord.

self explanatory.

.........

my personal favorite.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

2008-01-07T17:00:00.000-08:00

Morgan's Boyfriends.

2007-12-17T17:35:00.000-08:00

2007-12-12T10:44:00.000-08:00

So I decided to make a wish list of my own for Christmas... Here it goes

1. A digital camera. So we can actully take decent looking pictures... sometimes!

2. A watch. One that works and isn't wrapped up in a rubber band. This one would do just fine

3. Yoga. Anybody who knows me knows that I am not the most flexible person on the planet. So 2008 will change that

4. To pass my math class. I have my final tomorrow so pray for me tonight!

This is how I feel after doing 2 hours of math homework every night

5. Last but not least for Shrek the Halls to become a new classic on tv every Christmas season. Its cheesy but I think one of my new favorites!

2007-12-06T21:52:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

Here is my Christmas list.

1. Another Fat Camp special on MTV.

2. For Nicholas Cage to be locked up forever.

3. As well as Bill Paxton

4. A vintage record player for Hilary.

5. For yours truly and my sister to take a decent picture.

6. A macbook.

I love Apple so much I want to marry it.

7. Freaks and Geeks on dvd.

I love them so much I want to marry them.

8. Someone to pay my library fees.

9. Johnny Depp. Tied in a bow. For my mom. She loves him so much she wants to marry him.

10. To get the vespa to work for Todd. He would be so happy.

Santa, I hope that you can make these dreams a reality.
Thank you for your time.

Sincerly,
Morgan Marilyn Wood.

Suck it Global Warming

2007-11-18T09:52:00.001-08:00

It is mid- November and I would like to wear a jacket please! I have an obsession with hoods on jackets and I can't wear my hoods if I can't wear a freakin jacket! Please Arizona hit that off button switch and make it cool down. On Thursday, it was cloudy and almost rainy. So Hilary thought "Lets whip out my favorite jacket with the furry hood and wear it" I walked around campus with it on plus my hood( yes I did get some stares, but its ASU and you can see alot worse down there), and then I started to sweat.PERFECT! So to compinsate I turned on the AC in my car and blasted the cold air to make it feel really cold. Please weather do me a favor and just let me wear my hoods.

I went to Provo.

2007-11-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

Day #1.

4 am - start the long, unavoidable drive to BYU.

12 pm - boredom ensues...

3 pm - arrive in Provo only to be greeted by knee length shorts, teevas with socks, and the cold, cloudy view of the Y.

3:01 pm - say hello to our dear friend Savannah, and are soon stranded as Savannah scanters off to her cadaver lab.

3:20 pm - find ourselves trapped in a BYU dorm. quickly make ourselves resemble human beings and run out the door to escape the petrifying sounds of young girls singing along to Wicked, talking about their missionaries, and discussing the upcoming week's enrichment meeting.

3:30 pm - discover that piles of golden leaves actually exist and aren't an illusion.

3:40 pm - walk around campus.

4:00 pm - still walking.

4:05 pm - return to Savannah's dorm only to realize that we are locked out, Savannah is still in her cadaver lab, and her roomates are singing along to Wicked too loud to hear us banging on the door.

4:06 pm - discover the beauty that is self-timer.

4:20 pm - our prayers are answered. Savannah returns. We love Savannah for these 3 reasons.
1. She is studying to become a plastic surgeon.
2. She promised to give us boobs.
3. She promised to give us boobs.

8:00 pm - finish dinner. play with Savannah. go to bed. party animals, no?

Day #2

10 am - wake up. Savannah is at another lab, so we decide to explore. we soon discover this treasure.

12 pm - Savannah is back. we eat. laugh. and eat some more.

6 pm - go to dinner and meet up with our favorite person in the world. Julianne Dana. We love her because she laughs at our jokes even when they aren't funny. Which is most of the time.

8 pm - stumble upon a car that puts my chevy tracker to shame. it is beautiful and kind and you can draw all over it with chalk and i love it.

8:03 pm - after gazing upon the rare beauty of the chalk car, we have a minor panic attack at the thought of not being able to contribute to the mobile canvas. light bulb. I pull out Stephanie's colored Tum's from my bag and with a smile on my face distribute the chalky medicine into the hands of my friends.

8:04 pm - we dive head first into the task that lay ahead.

9 pm - meet up with our guy friends and play with them. sadly enough, we were too busy flirting with their roomates to take pictures. ok, maybe we were just too scared to take pictures with the beautiful men for fear that we would look like hobo's compared to them.

3 am - return to Savannah's dorm and fall asleep dreaming of the possibility that maybe, just maybe, one of the male models will ask for our numbers at church the next day.

Day #3

12 pm - our dreams are shattered when the greek god's "forget" to ask for our numbers. maybe it's because I forgot my church shoes and wore my moccasins instead. or maybe it's because Savannah had to seperate me and Steph during sacrament because we were too loud. or maybe it's the combination of the two. we are sad, tired, and defeated. we want to get out of Provo.

6 pm - spend the rest of the night with Savannah, the boys, our other friend Marci, and all the roomates.

Day # 4

8 am - make the long drive back home to AZ.

The End.

To our friend

2007-11-06T13:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Shia,

We know things have been tough lately. You are filming the new Indiana Jones movie and it can get pretty stressful. Understandably you need a break. But don't get drunk at a Walgreens parking lot and try to get in at 2:30 in the morning only to get arrested. Walgreens Shia? Seriously? Out of all the places you could choose to break into at night... Walgreens? I know that intoxication can affect your thinking skills but next time plese make a better choice and just crash at at least a WalMart, for they are open all freakin' night! We still are big fans of you but keep this up and we might have to reconsider you as our favorite actor (yeah right!) Good luck on Novemember 28th in court. And as always theres more that meets the eye

Love,H&M

We're Back....

2007-11-04T11:43:00.000-08:00

Sort of. We are too busy with school/work/boys/tivo/global warming/sleeping to blog everyday.
We apologize to our beloved fans. We will be back as soon as we want to be.
Love,us

Skills

2007-10-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

Don't hate on us.

Dirty Little Secret

2007-10-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

We were talking the other night about how we have t-shirts that we wear around the house all the time, but would never be caught dead wearing them in public. Everyone has them.... here's ours:

Yes we have been to two of his concerts(we are now very ashamed)

Enough said!

This orchestra shirt lasted through 8 years with Bill Bitter

Mandy said she thought of me when she got it. Its a Beauty and the Geek 2 shirt. What? Where the heck do you get a shirt like this?

Heavyweights.

2007-10-03T19:04:00.001-07:00

Hilary and I started a new work-out regime that lasted approximately one day.

Reason for quitting:

Hilary: "You guy's don't know how weak I am."
Estimated time of workout: 20 minutes.

Morgan: "Cholo's were looking at me."
Estimated time of workout: 30 minutes. Half the time included me sitting on the curb, shoes off, playing solitare on my ipod.

We are the champions.

Our Favorite Shows

2007-09-30T15:53:00.000-07:00

The Office

Arrested Development

Reno 911

The Brendan Leonard Show

3 reasons to be bummed

2007-09-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

1. my camera is ghetto and decided to make all of my most recent pictures turn out like this:

2. I got new frames. The world hates them. This was erica's exact face as soon as she saw them.

2. Hilary and Stephanie are CONVINCED that they look like Audrey Hepburn.

When in reality they look like this:

3. My blu-blockers are MIA. May they rest in peace.

2007-09-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

My friend called me on Mon. to ask if I would be set up on a blind date. I hesitated... and finally said "umm sure" She said we would double with her and her husband (red flag alert!) so last night I (Hilary) was probably put in the most awkward situation and here's why:

- He picked me up and my dog peeded all over the floor, which he then stepped in
- Conversation at the dinner table ended with with me pointing and laughing at him shouting "thats what she said!" His response "Who said that?"
- I told him I hated goofy golfing
- We went goofy golfing
-In the car my friends had to bring up the most embarrsing stories and tell him. "Hey want to hear a funny story about Hilary?" No he doesn't!
- While golfing my married friends got in an argument and continued to yell at eachother through all 18 holes of golf over a myspace page.
- We played DDR
- We played air hockey
- He dropped me off at my house to my sister filming our door scence and following him to his car
- The date ended at 10:15

Who wouldn't want to date this!

2007-09-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

I (morgan) have recently attained a new obssesion that is checking the mail.

For some strange reason, I convince myself that there will be a letter, hiding in the assemblage, written out to me.

Maybe one will be from a resplendent man delcaring his undying love for me, or maybe from the queen of England inviting me to tea and crumpets. And having either of her grandsons extend their hand in marriage.

I would also wear this hat, as to appear "royal"

But for now, I'll just endure the embarrassment of sifting through piles and piles of meaningless crap, until I see the golden ticket.

Ie: an envelope adressed to yours truly.

Rest assured, that day will come.

Morgan's Hero...

2007-08-30T22:24:00.001-07:00

Dr. Paul Farmer

I would like to meet this man.
I love what he does, and everything he stands for.

Summertime Memories

2007-08-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

So now that school has started and work has begun, we wish that we were back to the good ol' days of summer. But we are not, so here's a few pics, to help us remember summertime memories.

Hilary:
I mostly worked all summer, I did get to go to Europe with the fam. which was amazing! But mostly it was hanging out in the file room with my eye-hut groupies Don't we look happy to be at work on a day where we could be at the lake!

Again trying to make time pass at work!

I did get to make a trip up with my friends to... yep believe it or not, girls camp. We were asked to be in a dating panel for the girls.

But I think that we had more fun the night before getting into trouble at 3 am. If the campers only knew what we were up to.

>a<

I love when you ask your friends to take a decent picture, and this comes out.

Well back to school, back to school to prove to dad that I'm not a fool. Got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight.

Morgan:
I traveled. A lot. Here's what went down.

Me and my cousins at Niagra Falls.

New York was bomb.

D.C. was hot, humid, and boring.

We loved Nauvoo.

Bummer that summer is over. School sucks.

The Format

2007-08-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

We went to the format concert a while back and it was bomb.

Hilary could hardly contain herself.

Neither could I.

My husbands.

He had red hair, a red pillow, and was wearing a green shirt.
Christmas isn't for another 4 months homie.

Our engagement picture

we survived

2007-08-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

we all know that the world has been waiting anxiously to hear about our first day of school.

well friends, you need wait no longer. here it is.

Hilary:

After 2 years of community college, I finally got promoted to go to a unversity level. AS U, or ASU welcomed me today with 2nd hand smoke at 8 in the morning followed by trying to find my classes in a 115 degree weather by 8:10 am, and by 10 walking back to my car I was almost run over by longboarders, and beach cruisers. My math teacher who goes by only "Margie" looks like she got back from traveling with National Geographic photographers. She wore today a bright orange shirt with a moose rowing a canoe, pants that could be made into shorts with only a zipper, and finally the well beloved Teevas on her feet! What a semster it's going to be with Margie. Go Sundevils!

Morgan:

I got flipped off by an old lady on my way to school.

I had to park in a dirt lot on account of there being no available parking spaces.

I was late to class. On my first day of college.

I forgot a pencil. On my first day of college.

I had to sit next to a guy who's teeth were rotting out of his head from all the meth he'd done.

He told me how September 25th is a very important date because that's when he gets off parole.

He used an entire bottle of gel in his hair.

Then we got into a class discussion on sweat shops and he asked me to check the tag of his t-shirt to see where it was made. I told him "thanks, but I'd rather not."

Then he told me he was 28.

The we found out that these were permanent seats and I died a little inside.